Does Your Horse Want To Work With You?

Communication…..It’s something that we all struggle with at times even in our relationships with other humans. In this post I want to talk about how valuable it is to have clear communication with your horse. Of course we all know this but I want to talk about it in a bit more depth and perhaps get you thinking more about how you could be a better partner for your horse.

Here’s a couple of questions to ask yourself….Does your horse want to be around you? Does he come to you in the paddock? Does he wander off if you drop the lead rope for a minute whist doing something with him?

Now the answers to these question vary and they spark conversation for a range of topics but for the sole purpose of this post I want to focus on communication.

Now I want you to think for a moment of your own experiences in life with different people, bosses, family, colleagues, friends and think about who you like to do business with, who you like to work with and spend time with. You could quite possibly find that the people you like to work with are the ones where your communication is clear and you know where you stand, you enjoy their company, respect each other and can have fun.

There is nothing worse than wondering where you stand with someone or waiting to have those hard conversations about money or work. How much easier is it when everything is laid out on the table and everyone can benefit from the partnership?! When everyone is happy in the partnership and knows what is expected of them and what the boundaries are it makes for a very effective partnership, there is no room for confusion.

Now apply this to your horse, for a start it is harder for him because he dose’t speak English. However you can still learn to communicate in the same language through horsemanship.

If you are not clear to your horse about what is expected of him and what the boundaries are; he is going to feel unsure and he going to loose interest in the partnership because the conversations have not been had and he is left wondering whats going on.

Remember being at a job you hated or if you were’t a fan of school I bet you got easily distracted and couldn’t wait to go home!! This is what happens to your horse! Can you blame him really if he doesn't want to be there?? Can you blame him for wanting to go back to his paddock and his friends?

You need to learn to communicate better and reassess how you are showing up for your horse!

Are you enjoyable to be around or are you dragging your horse into your human baggage or bad day?

If you show up and are present, a joy to be around and are clear with your communication and set your boundaries your horse can understand what is expected of him, you can set him up to win and he can enjoy your sessions.

He may even start to look forward to them and come to you in the paddock or even be waiting! This is where you want your horsemanship!! You want it to be a partnership and you want him to enjoy working with you, but in order for him to enjoy working with you, you have to be their friend and best and fairest partner you can be, a good place to start is to check in and see how your emotions are and work on your communication skills.

Another thing to take into consideration is keeping it fun and enjoyable, no one wants to go to a shitty job day in and day out and your horse certainly doesn’t want to be drilled on the same exercises and patterns every time you get him out of the paddock.

You need to keep things fresh and interesting, you need to change it up and give him things to look forward to. If you always ride in an arena take him out for a trail ride. Look up new exercises and patterns to learn, find out what new things you can do with him that will advance your partnership and give your horse a form of intellectual stimulation…horses like to learn!

By keeping your sessions fresh he doesn’t know what you will be doing each day and he can look forward to the session instead of dreading it.

Trust is another key point in any relationship especially with your horse. Of course he needs to trust you but you equally need to put your trust in him too. How awful is it when you know you are more than capable of things and someone doesn’t trust you! Your horse needs to feel that the trust is mutual, for him to trust you with scary new things and to trust you to be his leader he needs to know that you are not going to let him down by not trusting him in return.

Trust is something that takes a long time to build with horses, quite often it is more focused on them trusting us that people forget to trust their horse. People who forget to trust their horse end up frightening their horse unintentionally by their own fear and worry.

You need to be a solid and reliable leader, your horse needs to know that he can depend on you and that you will be there for him when he needs and that you are not just going to abandon ship when things get hard or scary. You need to be in control of your horsemanship journey and you need to seek help if things go astray or you reach the end of your knowledge or capabilities.

Being a good partner for your horse means that you are constantly looking at ways to improve your horsemanship and that you look out for your horse during your sessions and make sure he is clear on your boundaries and that he is set up to succeed so that he can look up to you and he can look forward to working with you.

If your horse is not enjoying your sessions or if fear is stopping you from moving forward and creating a trusting partnership please get in contact so that I can give you some tools to help you.

Horses really do enjoy learning and spending time with people we just have to learn to communicate better.

Enjoy the videos below that show horses who enjoy their partnership .

Aim to have the best relationship possible with your horse, it’s worth it!!

Happy Horsing xo

This is a lovely horse that I had the pleasure of working with in Broome Western Australia. This video captures Max coming to see me as I write notes, it shows that he is interested in what we have been doing and he is happy to be working with me.

Young colt having a cuddle