Women's Insecurities

Being a hairdresser has given me insight into women’s insecurities. They tell me about their lives and their struggles with their image and body. Sometimes they don’t need to say anything at all, it’s in their body language, and honestly, it’s really upsetting.

There is so much pressure on women to look a certain way, to be perfect, to never age, and it’s simply unattainable. It makes me so sad because all I see are these incredible women who have given life, raised children, built businesses, worked hard, run farms and households. Kind, caring, creative women who are reduced to their value being the way they look.

It makes me so mad seeing how much society plays a part in this, as it always has. We’ve gone from the beautiful women in magazines to the unrealistic perfect lives of Instagram, and I am just so angry!

We are so much more than how we look.

It amazes me how much pressure there is on women to colour their grey hair, yet their male counterparts can just breeze through life as perfectly accepted men with grey hair. So many women actually want to stop colouring their hair, but their husbands, family members, or friends tell them not to or make mean comments when their greys start to show.

It amazes me how many women make decisions about their personal appearance based on what their husbands or other people think.

It makes me wonder who these women would be if they had complete control over their own image.

Who would you be if you didn’t have to worry about what other people thought or what society deemed as ideal?

So many women say things like, “Oh, I’d love to cut my hair, but my husband likes it long,” or “I’d love to grow out my greys, but my dad said it makes me look old,” or “I’d love to wear something like that, but I could never.”

Girl, just go be you! I know it’s hard, but life is hard, so you might as well do it feeling like yourself.

I just don’t understand the problem with getting old. It’s a privilege denied to many. We’re not meant to stay in a time capsule at our peak; we’re meant to live, to grow old, and to have the scars and wisdom to prove we lived. I love getting older. I love how I’m becoming more and more myself as the years go on.

I’m starting to see changes. Things that once looked good on me no longer do, and my unruly grey hair can make me look untidy. My skin is starting to lose its firmness. These are just things to navigate with grace and acceptance. I’m proud of myself and my body for what I’ve been through, and I don’t think I should have to feel shame for how I look as I age.

In a world full of pressure to be everything to everyone, to do all the things and look perfect doing it, we have gimmicks shoved in our faces, literally. Where once only Hollywood had the funds to turn back the clock, now procedures and injections are accessible to everyone.

I worry for the young people growing up in this false world. Girls who face this pressure more than ever from such a young age, a world of filters, Photoshop, and Botox. And boys who never get to see what a real woman is meant to look like. The problems this will cause are huge.

Now more than ever, we need to make a stand for natural beauty, to learn to love the things that make us unique. We need to be real and accepting and show the world how happy we can be without this pressure and without spending money we don’t have on an image that isn’t our own.

I’m not saying we should all stop caring and let ourselves go. I’m saying there has to be a middle ground, a place where we’re free to do the things we want for ourselves, not for anyone else. A place where we can take care of ourselves and embrace who we are in a loving way, not in a bid to change ourselves for others.

I think true beauty is found in the moments we stop trying so hard to be someone else. When we honor the body, the story, and the years we’ve lived, that’s when we shine the most.